01. NAME:  Amber

REALATIONSHIPS

01. WHO ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS? Heidi, Stuart, Stephany_Leeann, Stephanie, Cassie, Nikki, the EP!

02. DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND? eh kinda...

f a s h i o n | s t u f f
01. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO SHOP? depends on what for

03.ANY TATTOOS/PIERCINGS? eyebrow, tongue and ears

s p e c i f i c s
01. DO YOU DO DRUGS? no
02. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? gardnier fructis
03. WHAT ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF? being alone my whole life and loosing people i love most
04. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  my humps_black eyed peas

05. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON THAT CALLED YOU? Josh

06. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? prolly my churt
07. HOW MANY BUDDIES ARE ONLINE RIGHT NOW? 21
08. WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF? there's a whole heck of alot

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
01. GIVEN ANYONE A BATH? when i babysat....
02. SMOKED? yes
03. BUNGEE JUMPED? no
04. MADE YOURSELF THROW UP? yes
05. SKINNY DIPPED? No
06: EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes
07 MADE YOURSELF CRY TO GET OUT OF TROUBLE? no
08. PICTURED YOUR CRUSH NAKED? sure?
09. ACTUALLY SEEN YOUR CRUSH NAKED? lol do i have to answer?
10. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED? yes
11. LIED? yes
12. FALLEN FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND? yes...he is a boy
13. BEEN REJECTED? yes
14. REJECTED SOMEONE? yeah
15. USED SOMEONE? no
16. DONE SOMETHING YOU REGRET? yes
CLOTHES: i like jeans, hoodies, comfortable stuff
MUSIC: anything really
MAKE-UP: everyday
ANNOYANCE: people who are back stabbers
SMELL: boys :) matches, lilu, so theres alot lol
FAVORITE ARTIST: too many to list
DESKTOP PICTURE: stuart and his friends camping
BOOK YOU'RE READING: she said yes. for independent reading
CD IN YOUR CD PLAYER: all 3 jessica simpson cd's. sad yes i know
DVD IN YOUR DVD PLAYER: mean girls
COLOR OF YOUR TOENAILS: pink

l a s t | p e r s o n
YOU TOUCHED: aaron or austin
HUGGED: stephany?
YOU IMED: kevin
YOU YELLED AT: dad
YOU KISSED: erik. its been a while lol

a r e | y o u
UNDERSTANDING: Yes
OPEN-MINDED: yes
INSECURE: yes
HUNGRY: no
MOODY: sometimes
ORGANIZED: yeah minus my room
SHY: yes
DIFFICULT: sometimes

MESSY: no

RESPONSIBLE: yes
OBSESSED: with what?
ANGRY: only if at something
SAD: yea
DISAPPOINTED: yea
HAPPY: yes
HYPER: all the time
TRUSTING: yes
TALKATIVE: depends

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
KILL: nobody
SLAP: ask and i shall tell
GET REALLY WASTED WITH: friends
GET HIGH WITH: nobody
LOOK LIKE: no one
TALK TO OFFLINE: Friends
TALK TO ONLINE: Friends

IN THE MORNING I AM: tired and disoriented
ALL I NEED IS: someone to love me and friends

LOVE IS: awesome but hurts very much at the same time
I DREAM ABOUT: everything

WORST QUESTION TO ASK: i don't really know
WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST?: heidi, josh
WHO DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON?: for me to know

WHO HAS A CRUSH ON YOU? nobody...

d o | y o u | e v e r
SIT ON THE INTERNET ALL NIGHT LONG WAITING ON SOMEONE TO IM YOU?: ive done it before but its not a hobby

SAVE CONVERSATIONS: yea

WISH YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?: no

CRY BECAUSE OF SOMETHING SOMEONE SAYS TO YOU?: yeah
NUMBER OF TIMES

YOU'VE HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: one

OF HEARTS YOU'VE BROKEN: none
OF GIRLS YOU'VE KISSED: none
OF GUYS YOU'VE KISSED: 6.

OF CONTINENTS YOU'VE LIVED ON: only one lol
OF TIGHT FRIENDS: idk they dont hang out with eachother does it still count?
OF CDS YOU OWN: wayyy to many to count
OF SCARS ON YOUR BODY:  some

f i n a l | q u e s t i o n s (

06. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN THEATERS?: sad, but napoleon dynamite
07. FAVORITE CARTOON/ANIME: recess or the weekenders
09. WHO WOULD YOU LOVE TO BE LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH?: him.
10. COULD YOU LIVE WITHOUT YOUR COMPUTER: uh no. if i cant talk to him then im dyin.
11. WOULD YOU COLOR YOUR HAIR: sure
12. COULD YOU EVER GET OFF THE COMPUTER?: yea
13. HABLAS ESPANOL?: no
14. HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE ON YOUR BUDDY LIST?: 186

15. DRINK ALCOHOL?: yes
16. BEEN DRUNK?: yes
17. LIKE WATCHING SUNRISES OR SUNSETS?: never have before
18. WHAT HURTS THE MOST?: betrayal


I have kissed someone... (bold the ones you've done and with who!)
Hmmm, i'll bold them, but not include who. that's personal.

*on the cheek
*on the lips
*on their hands or fingers
*on the neck
*in my room
*in their room
*of the opposite sex
*younger than me
*older than me
*with jet black hair
*with curly hair
*with blonde hair & blue eyes
*with red hair
*with straight hair
*smaller/shorter than me
*bigger/taller than me
*with a lip ring
*who was drunk
*who was high
*who I had just met
*who was homosexual
*who I didn't really want to kiss
*on a holiday
*who was going out with someone close to me
*who was dating someone else
*who i knew i shouldn't
*who was my good friend's brother or sister
*who had been/is in jail
*in a graveyard
*at a show/concert
*at the beach
*in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water
*who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with
*with dyed hair
*with a shaved head
*who was/is my good friend
*who was/is in a band
*who has tattoo
*in the rain
*in another continent besides where I was born
*with an accent
*with an std
*on a boat
*in a car/taxi/bus
*on a plane
*at the circus/carnival
*with a missing body part
*in the movies
*eskimo style
*upside down

[	mood	|	numb	]
[	music	|	Photograph	]

i know that i talk about him all the time. i just can't help it. I have been in the past week been thinking. Last night for example i didnt go to sleep until 6:30 am because i was thinking of him.  It's not my fault that he gave me so much. I mean he gave me so much. He taught me how to deal with things, he gave me a reason to smile, he gave me a reason to want to be a good person. he's my hero. i look up to him and always will. I knew from the begining that it could never be anything more than friends. But i fell in love with him. Sure, he has his faults, as does every other person but for some reason those seemed so small compared to everything else that he is. he is just truely amazing. i will always love him, he will always stay with me forever. I just think that he gets so annoyed with me. he doesnt seem as eager to want to talk to me, i dont get the emails when i wake up, or when i come home from school or work. we never talk anymore. i'm just grateful for what it was. for how long he made me happy. he still does. every thought of him makes me smile, when i see his pictures he makes me get butterflies. he is just truely amazing. i tell him that so much and he gets tired of hearing it im sure. it's my fault for opening up to him but i trust him. i didn't know someone could have that effect on another person. never in a million years. i just miss him. i sound stupid...but i dont really care because i have to get it out. a part of me just wants to see how long it would take before he would e-mail me but i can't make it a day without asking him if he's okay. he just means wayy to much. i just hope that we will always be friends, because without him i wouldnt be the person i am. so for that i have to thank him and for that i love him. for everything he has ever done for me. i dont want him to think im some psyco bitch. i am just very thankful. anyone to even look at him should be thankful. amazing amazing person. i want him to want to talk to me and maybe even get excited to. alright enough.

i'm done no more rambling.

had to share those feelings.

[	mood	|	productive	]
[	music	|	My Heart Will Go On	]

i know that this entry is overdue. by about a week. but it happens. for some reason i felt like updating. so bitches..i am.

Tuesday, August 23rd- i went to pick ma mere up from work and she is like your wayyy pale, let me check ur hemoglobin so i was like alright. it was at 5!!!!!!!! thats wayyy low. its supposed to be over 10!. so she took me downstairs to see dr. rizvi. she of coarse admitted me into the hospital. They drew some blood and gave me my IV. They also gave me 2 units of blood that night, and some morphine. that shit burns going through your IV let me tell ya. Heidi and Sonny came to see me! .

Wednesday, August 24th- Started my day off with getting blood drawn at 4:30 am. yipee. i got some more morphine to help my stomach. but i really didnt do anything but lay there in the bed. Work sent me flowers. My mom talked to Kathy.Then after everyone was getting out of school i called up Nikki and Christan and they both came to see me along with Sally! Nikki tried cutting off my IV line a few times lol. Thanks guys! . Kayleigh and Arica came to visit me from work, and of coarse they made me laugh and smile. They are just awesome! STUART called me too!!!   I of coarse started crying, but then he cheered me up and made me smile. I know this sounds lame but he made me feel so much better. Like he really cared. My dad stayed the night with me that night....what a trip let me tell ya! OMG! was so annoying. He kept talking in his sleep and kicking my IV pole. I called Heidi crying at like 11:30 and she talked to me until i got another dose of morphine and i was out lol.

Thursday, August 25- I woke up to getting blood drawn again. Then I had to go and get x-rays. which wouldnt of been bad at all except for the lady decided my gown needed to come off. well did she not see the damn IV??? she ripped it 1/2 way out of my hand. hurt like a bitch and then i could see blood backing up. So when i got back up to my room Heidi, Sonny, and Taylin were there waiting to see me! I had to get a new IV so everytime i would start flipping out...Taylin would be like "hey ambs its okay ambs". Gosh i just love that girl. Then before i know it Christan and Charly show up to visit me. THEN not even 10 minutes later KATE NOLD and Molly show up. It was nice to see that people cared. Makes you get better quicker i think anyways. Then Molly and Kate leave and Ann from my work comes in to see me. Janelle called also to see how i was doing. Then they all left and Nikki shows up after she got out of work. I finally got ahold of Ms. Stephany_Leeann!!! and she came to see me!!! Heidi came back to stay the night with me. Josh called and we got in a fight.  

Friday, August 26- I woke up to getting blood drawn yet, AGAIN! Then around 7 am, they came to get me for my endoscopy. I was scared and pissed that they made me take out my tongue ring. But i get wheeled down there and the only thing i remember is crying because the stuff burned so bad through my IV and then waking up in my room. I guess when i was in the recovery room i was shouting "shut the beeping off" and i was sticking my tongue out so my dad went all the way upstairs to get my barbell for me and my mom put it in for me. Then when i woke up in my room i had a card from Taylin and Stuart. I was fine with stuart's just got a lil teary eyed but when i read taylin's that was it. Then i passed out again from the medicine. The next time i woke up it was to Janelle  calling me again. It was awesome to hear from them. I had a CAT scan later that day. The first time i got wheeled down but i didnt finish all that shit that they have you drink because it was gunna puke so the lady connects my IV ( whose been named Norm) to this Dye machine. She goes okay your whole body is gunna feel warm and i said alright. Next thing you know im itching like crazy. I got hives, my eyes swelled shut and i was having trouble breathing. what do u know...an allergic reaction to the dye. Had to have a shot and like 3 more things through the IV. So after they hook me up to monitors for like a 1/2 hour i'm wheeled back upstairs. lol. Harmony and Christan were in my room waiting for me. AWESOME!!! Heidi, Sonny and Taylin came back for a bit. Then Sonny went and got Garrett and brought him back. Then it was time for me to go back for another CAT scan, only this time no dye. Hmm and that about finishes that day off. lol.

Saturday August 27th- THEY LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE! Me and Norm broke up. Everything came back negative. I was kinda sad to leave because i was kinda attatched to Norm by then but i was just so damn happy to get my ass out of there.

but since then i have been home, it's only dropped really low once. I'm still not feeling the best but alot better now.  I can go back to work on tuesday and be normal again....well at least i hope...

i did go into work this past thursday to have kathy sign some papers and i was sooo happy to see everyone. I got tons of hugs! Just miss everyone there so much....weird i know...